Derober

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John:
TMZ is reporting that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant again. She took a pregnancy test and it came back baby. Jamie Lynn apparently thought that you couldn’t get pregnant if you were still breast feeding. On a related note, the lunar landings were faked on a soundstage in Burbank and rainbows aren’t real. According to the source,

“Jamie Lynn is about eight weeks pregnant, and she and her mom Lynne are hysterical,” revealed a close source. “Neither of them knows what to do, but for now they’re trying to keep the news from getting out.”
“Jamie Lynn believed she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breast-feeding,” said the close source. “She’d expected to have her period by early September.” A home pregnancy test came back positive and Jamie Lynn cried her eyes out, said the source.
Her mother Lynne was livid when she found out, divulged an insider.

Lots of crying at the Spears’ camp. Why does everything they do end in tears? Don’t answer that.

UPDATE: I’m hearing word now that Jamie Lynn is not pregnant. Apparently, she just ate a really big meal and felt bloated. After a few hours she still felt full and just assumed the worst.

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Darby Gunpowder:
In keeping with the Spears tradition of raising kids without a father, Jamie Lynn has not been seen with her boyfriend Casey Alderidge in over a month. So unless he’s on sabbatical in Machu Pichu rediscovering himself -they broke up. Derober is not sure who did the breaking, so I’m going to flip a quarter and if it lands on tails, Jamie broke up with Casey and if it lands on heads Casey broke up with Jamie.

Hold.

The quarter fell behind my desk and the ensuing headrush of bending over to pick it up is not worth it. So I’ll make something up:

Casey never impregnated Jamie Lynn. It was in fact a boy named Cesar who empties the Porta-Potties every other day on the set of Zoey 101. The Spears camp found Casey through a Craigslist posting titled “need (white) boy to claim he impregnated our other f#@*ked up daughter - will pay you with a $50 gift certificate to TJ MAxx.”
And you know the rest

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Jamie Lynne Spears breezed through her GED and passed. Woo Hooooo! And I just finished a paint by number and stayed within the lines! Woo Hoooooo! Close sources say,

“She wants to take her ACT. She’s not wasting any time. People don’t know her. When she gets something in her head, she’ll make it happen.”

She must have got a baby in her head. . . I smell Mensa.

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Dee:
Not surprisingly the forth season of Zoey 101 will NOT be canceled due to Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy and greed. Nickelodeon has decided that it’s cool to be a pregnant Tween. In fact, they are encouraging all NON-pregnant, unmarried, young ladies ages 12-17 to get knocked up as soon as possible. You’re not in the “in-crowd” unless you have at least one bastard.

Leo:
On a serious note, when asked how the network will deal with Jamie’s growing waistline, the brilliant writers at Nickelodeon have written in a scene where Jamie gets a bug bite and swells up. No joke.

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Although bumf#*@k Arkansas may seem like a foreign country planet, it doesn’t mean you don’t tip there. But if you are Jamie Lynn Spears, I guess you are exempt from American common courtesy. According to Pagesix, Jamie left La Carreta mexican restaurant without leaving a dime for a tip.

“Jamie is not well-liked here,”

says waitress Brittanie Heaney, who makes just $2.37 an hour. She’s definitely pinching every penny she owns to pay for her bastard child now that her “career” is over.

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