Derober

I’ll need to take a closer look here

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John:
Lindsay Lohan’s side boob has returned but only briefly. It’s being reported that the side boob saw its own shadow and will not return for six more weeks.

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Darby Gunpowder:
I’m obviously not a golfer, but if I had to guess, Lindsey Lohan is not wearing a brazier underneath that top. I wonder if Sam(antha) talked her into burning all her under-naughties out of jealousy that Lindsey is a real life woman, while Sam is a real life 12 year old boy. This is the only good thing to come out of their relationship…now if only Sam can talk Lindsey into getting a tan and making a sex tape with Rachel Bilson and Blake Lively. Scissor me timbers!

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Darby Gunpowder:
Please sit. Lindsey Lohan is supposedly getting married to a little boy, Sam Rosen under the new same-sex marriage law in California. I can see the future True Hollywood Story of Lohan and it will go a little something like this:

Shortly after Lindsey’s acting career dried up, she suffered from a severe case of ‘WFT’. Doctors have only seen rare cases of ‘WTF’ with Britney Spears, Jesse ‘the body’ Ventura, Gary Busey, and Ren & Stimpy. Lohan was delusional. She posed nude for The New Yorker for free when she was dead broke. Further down the spiral, she tried to marry 12 year old boy, Samantha Rosen. As fate would have it, just before the farce ceremony, Lindsay was put out of her misery by the federal government for taking up too much press in an election year. She was a candle in the kiln.

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Darby Gunpowder:
For everyone who cruised into work today feeling like they had drank a little too much over the weekend, you’re not alone -Lindsey HoHan was seen jack-hammered drunk at a club in NYC. It’s about time grandma got her groove back on. According to People magazine, one source at the club says HoHan was,

“tossing her hair around and doing full-body-rolls – even throwing her hands in the air.”

Her cocktail of choice was the usual Greygoose and Redbull, but judging by her hair-banging and jaw-nashing, Derober will deduct that she encountered a blizzard of coke at some point in the night. And what on God’s good-green-earth is a “full-body-roll”?! I don’t know if I’m more furious at Lindsey for doing full-body-rolls, or the fact that some douchbag (or douchebagette) used the word full-body-roll in a sentence. And do you believe Lindsey threw her hands in the air…that’s insane!

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Dee:
According to a recent poll by Moviefone Lindsey Lohan’s Georgia Rule landed the #2 WORST movie of 2007. If you recal, this is the movie Lilo was making during her “party till the wheels fall off” stage. She was up to her eyeballs in blow and booze. . .ahh the gool ol’ days when celebs claimed exhaustion.

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