Derober

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Darby Gunpowder:
Jessica Simpson remade the classic Esquire cover a’la Virna Lisi shaving her face. All you need to know is that it’s hot and bloody steamy. It looks like she’s back to her fighting weight which is good because I can’t fantasize about skelotor on my best day.
Enjoy the pics and make sure to click on the thumbs to see the slightest of nip slips. Disclaimer: For trained eyes only.

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Darby Gunpowder:
I have a feeling my future children will read about Pamela Denise Anderson in their history books. The 40-year-old dropped trou and surprised Hugh Hefner for his 82 birthday -with a buck-naked lap dance at the Palms. Good thing the ol’ bastard is used to seeing titties all day and night because the shock of seeing Pammy in her birthday suit could have seized his ticker.

According to the Sun UK,

“The former Baywatch star, 40, who has appeared nude on the cover of Playboy magazine 12 times, gave him the steamy lap dance at a Las Vegas casino.
As Hefner walked into his luxury suite, she walked out of a bedroom — wearing only high-heel shoes.
Hotel owner George Maloof, 43, said: “He was stunned and had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.”

Well done Pam. Happy birthday Hugh. Now if you’ll excuse my I have some candid birthday photos to Google on the internet.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Outrage. Disgust. Shock. Entrapment. These are just some of the words that come to mind when I reflect on Miley Cyrus’s performance on American Idol - Idol Gives Back. The fifteen-year-old exposed her bare tongue, spread her legs obtusely, and was gyrating -yes gyrating. I had to leave the room at the risk of additional impure thoughts. Gone are the days when we thought Britney Spears was pushing the envelope with a Catholic school girl uniform. What’s next, a Jonas Brother’s-Ashley Tisdale orgy for the after school special?

Photos source 

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Ok this man, who for the sake of comedy we’ll name Neo, gets to rub down Gisele Bundchen’s perfect ass with oil. I’m going to kill my guidance counselor. How come the ‘two-handfuls of heavenly ass rubdown’ wasn’t offered in the curriculum when I went to college. I would have been first in line. Can you imagine,

“Coach put me in, someone’s gotta tame that ass before it walks all over us.”

“Bob, c’mon you’ve been riding the bench all season long for a reason. You wouldn’t know what to do with those hose-hounds if I gift wrapped em and mounted them on the wall for you. Forget it.”

“But coach, I’ve been been waxing windows and watching Over The Top everyday for the past three months just like you told me to. I’m ready, Coach. Put me in.”

“Ok, Bob. You want a shot to slay the two-headed dragon? Be my guest.”

Thanks coach, I won’t let you down.

“God save us all”.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
So if you’re ever in the rarefied position of meeting or dare I say dating Adriana Lima, here are a few simple rules to live by according to Adriana herself.

Have a hint of jealousy:
“I like jealous men. Everything has a limit, of course, but once in a while you have to stand up and say, ‘I love this person.’”

But don’t be too jealous:
“It’s never OK to defend my honor by beating someone up. You have to control yourself, even if the other person is drunk and crazy. Just say, ‘Let’s go home. Let’s leave.’ You don’t have to say a thing to him. I don’t like fights. I don’t like aggressive people.”

Sound convoluted enough. For the rest of Adriana’s impossible standards click here.
Continue Reading: 5 simple rules when dating Adriana Lima

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