Exclusive: Lindsay Lohan will not pose for Playboy

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John:
This is distressing news. There will be no sequel to Lohan’s New York Magazine boob bonanza. A friend of Lindsay (and ours) just emailed Derober. She told us Lindsay was pretty pissed off about the whole thing. Or, in her words, “I’m not fu*king doing Playboy.” Supposedly, she was contacted to do their 20 Questions segment and that was it.
We were pretty sure it was bullshit which is why Derober was the only gossip site on the planet that didn’t report the rumor.
In related news, Bob “the Bitch” has locked himself in his bedroom. He’s crying and he won’t come out until Lindsay poses nude for him. Bob got one of those little Canon Elph’s for Christmas and he’s great with lighting and composition. ‘The Bitch’ has put together a working model of the shoot to lure Lindsay into his lair.

For our source’s original (funny) email. Click here.

Kate Beckinsale talks filthy

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My future wife, Kate Beckinsale goes into depth about her our baby-maker in an interview with Allure magazine,

“I’ve only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh’s Tomb!”

(I gave it that nickname) The interview took a buck-nasty turn when asked about “best physical asset” in which she gushed,

“My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I’m told it is spectacular. But you can’t really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?”

I’m going to write my wedding vows now, excuse me.

Mariah Carey is not an attention whore

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I’m sure you’ve all seen these disappointing photos of Mariah Carey prancing around the beach topless. But what you may not know is that these photos were staged by Mariah herself. Plain and simple, she wanted attention. The photo of her bending over is photoshopped to cover her boobs with her hair. Guilty.

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Lindsey Lohan is a humanitarian

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Lindsay Lohan was paid -drum roll please…………NOTHING for wearing her birthday suit for New York Mag. It was all for art -or a PR stunt.
New York magazine will make millions off these photos thru online advertising revenues juiced by the recent spike in traffic.
When we asked New York Mag how they pulled it off, they were too busy laughing/crying tears of happiness to answer. The photographer, Bert Stern, who shot the original Monroe shots got paid his standard rate -hopefully it was adjusted for inflation.

What makes Olivia Munn so attractive?

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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Up and comer (I’m guessing) Olivia Munn was spotted at the premier of her new movie Semi-Pro which also stars Will Ferrell. Now I can only speculate to how well she acted in the movie, but I’d say on an acting scale from 1-10 she’s a D-cup. In other news, scientists have just found a remedy for the shortage of cheese in Switzerland. We’ll keep you posted on any breaking developments!