Derober

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Darby Gunpowder:
Like the Romans, all great empires eventually fall -as did Heather Grahams boobs. I gotta be honest, I’ve never liked this chick, nor thought she was that hot. She has wonkie eyes, a five-finger forehead, and now saggy boobs. Good thing she can rely on her acting chops to revive her “career”…oh, wait -nevermind.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Thank God I’m in good heart health because these photos of Marissa Miller could be dangerous. My future wife posed in Complex magazine this month and looked flawless as usual. Some of the pics look like she’s in a dungeon or some sort of underground bomb shelter. Looks like someone beat me to my master kidnapping plan.

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John:
Hayden Panettier attended The Whaleman Foundation benefit held at Eva Longoria’s Beso restaurant in LA on Monday (photos below). The Whaleman Foundation is an oceanic research, conservation, and production organization dedicated to preserving and protecting dolphins, whales, and their ocean habitat.
These creatures must be nurtured and cared for or else their meat will not be tender enough to eat.

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John:
If you guessed she’s Dennis Rodman please stop reading our site and wipe the retard drewl off the keyboard. This year America’s Top Model will be fishing for ratings by featuring Isis, a 22 year old former receptionist and former male. She was born Pablo Franco Exzavier-Martinez III. Ok, so I made that last part up but she was born with a penis and she doen’t have a penis anymore so you do the math. Tivo just got another season pass.

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Darby Gunpowder:
My sensible side knows this picture of Madonna is photoshopped, but I still think it’s hot. My non-sensible side turned to stone after making eye-contact. My gag-reflex side just puked out my nose when I remembered how gross Madonna is in real life (see photos below).

PS Madonna carries the weight of the world on her back in case you can’t read between the lines.

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