Derober

Darby Gunpowder:
Have you ever smelled a foul queef and then thought to yourself, man, I’m kinda hungry? Tara Ried in a bikini has the same effect on me. I’m supposed to be grossed out by her alien tummy, but instead my eyes shift skyward to her massive mammaries and all is right with the world. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t touch her with a 20 foot pole at the risk of getting blindsided by a rogue scalpel.

Update: In all the alien-tummy/booby talk, we failed to recognize Tara’s cavernous camel toe. She is like fine art, the longer you stare at it, the more you discover.

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John:
Hayden Panettier attended The Whaleman Foundation benefit held at Eva Longoria’s Beso restaurant in LA on Monday (photos below). The Whaleman Foundation is an oceanic research, conservation, and production organization dedicated to preserving and protecting dolphins, whales, and their ocean habitat.
These creatures must be nurtured and cared for or else their meat will not be tender enough to eat.

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Leo:
Just a reminder, you automatically get 1 point on the Hot Scale of you are famous. You also automatically get another point if you have a foreign accent. So by default, Amy Winehouse has 2 gimme points on the Hot Scale. Winehouse could not afford to lose a point, but she did with her recent outbreak of impetigo, a skin disease that consists of hideousness. Mayo Clinic’s actual definition is,

“Impetigo starts as a red sore that quickly ruptures, oozes for a few days and then forms a yellowish-brown crust that looks like honey or brown sugar. The disease is highly contagious, and scratching or touching the sores is likely to spread the infection to other parts of the body as well as to other people.”

Mayo omitted the fact that millions of crab eggs hatch inside your face and burst through your cheek. This is all true.

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John:
Halle Berry is probably going to vote for Obama. It’s science. Yesterday, Halle told the Philadelphia Daily News:

“I’ll do whatever he says to do,” actress Halle Berry said. “I’ll collect paper cups off the ground to make his pathway clear.”

Here at Derober, we take people at their word. And then make fun of those words. Paper cups, huh? She must really like the guy (we do too). And I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if Halle and Barack had a baby….

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John:
Actors Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law are leaving for Vancouver to take the place of Heath Ledger in the film The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. The three stars will share Ledger’s character of Tony, the love interest in the Terry Gilliam-directed fantasy film about a traveling theater troupe that offers audience members a chance to go beyond reality through a magical mirror.
The Derobers were sent an image of the original Imaginarium last night and have synergized the image into a more relevant pop-incarnation. You will find this photo nowhere else. Click on thumb for the full image. As ever, Heath, you are missed.

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