Derober

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Continue Reading: Guess who’s NOT going to prison…

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Mugshot courtesy of thesmokinggun.com

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com.

Dee:
Former star, Mischa Barton, was nabbed by the West Hollywood police early Thursday morning while successfully straddling 2 lanes of traffic. Not only was she driving shit-canned, but she did not have her license on her either. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Mischa was found with illegal narcotics (yet to be identified). Her bail was set at $10,000.

Leo:
The icing on the cake is that she was scheduled to host a pre-New Year’s Eve party at the opening of the CatHouse at the Luxor in Vegas. This has been canceled and so has the check she was given. The Luxor is currently scrambling to find an equal replacement. It’s rumored that a street performing mime may take Barton’s place

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Dee:
It’s official, lesbonic wonder Michelle Rodriguez checked herself into the Lynwood jail this morning. She has been sentenced to 180 days in prison for multiple violations including DUIs, a hit and run, violating her probation, and pissing off the world in general. Good luck Michelle, a little jail might be just what you need.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
I’d say watch out for the brute muff-snatching women while in jail Michelle, but that just wouldn’t be your style. Enjoy prison, I hear it’s lovely this time of year.

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The fired LOST star just got 6 months in prison for violating parole stemming from a DUI. Remember when she was arrested and she screaming “I don’t belong here!”? Oh, you belong and welcome to the club, my dear. 6 months! And, get this, she’s gonna’ be cleaning the highways and all that stuff. God I can’t write fast enough this is so funny. Again, we toast the Hollywood 5, Paris, Nicole, Eve, Lindsay, and Michelle. Rich enough to hire a driver but too stupid…

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

Kiefer Sutherland was arrested last night in Beverly Hills for drunk driving AGAIN. He was on his way to be honored by a Canadian Actors’ Union when he was presumably caught bonging Molson Ice while attempting to drive on 2 wheels. This is his 4th DUI and 1st Canadian Actor Award for lifetime achievement. Congrats!

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