Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Let me start by saying Will Smith denies that he’s a Scientologist. Ok, fine. However, if that’s the case then why did he donate over 122,500 dollars to various Scientology front groups last year and over 1,000,000 dollars to a Scientology based private school the year before that? Will Smith ISN’T to Scientology what Oprah Winfrey ISN’T to rich. Do the math kids. According to a Fox News report

He also gave a combined $122,500 to the Church of Scientology, broken into these donations: $67,500 to the New York Rescue Workers Detoxication Fund, $50,000 to the group’s Celebrity Center in Hollywood and $5,000 to ABLE, another Scientology offshoot. Smith and his wife have also supported a private school called New Village Academy they opened this fall in suburban Los Angeles that uses Scientology learning concepts.

C’mon Fresh Prince, lets hear the truth. I know you and Tom have many late “man nights” that involve hours of laughing, pillow fighting, Greco wrestling and games of Truth or Dare. Tom likes to make you do the Dares though doesn’t he Will? It’s ok, we all know.

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Darby Gunpowder:
I spy…a salami nipple! Some days I want to make love to Photoshop. There are certain lighting techniques you can apply to photos to reveal hidden objects on photos. I have a nasty habit of trying them on pretty much every photo I get and once in a blue moon -Eureka! A Nipple! I did not photoshop the silver dollar into the above photo, I merely tweaked the light settings on the original photo.
Aside from Katie’s pancake apearance, the internet group/Scientologist haters, Anonymous picketed the opening of her Broadway show, All My Sons. According to US Weekly,

The group was wearing masks and shouted, “We are not boycotting Katie, we are not boycotting the play, we are protesting Scientology. It is evil. Scientology kills people. It follows you home at night. It is perverted.”
A spokesperson for Anonymous spoke to Us recently about the planned action. “We are going to be there not only in protest of The Church of Scientology,” a member of the group told Us, “we would love to see Katie Holmes get away from this evil cult before it’s to late.”

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Darby Gunpowder:
Bootcamp. The word alone conjures negative feelings. Fat people go to bootcamp, shit-head kids go to bootcamp, convicts go to bootcamp…Katie Holmes goes to bootcamp. This can only mean one thing: the once of human left in her is trying to escape the evil spell put on her by the Scientologists. She’s rebelling.

Here’s how I think it went down:
Poor Katie went bat-shit crazy when she found out she was being shipped off to Xenu Bootcamp. The “others” gagged-n-bagged her and shot her full of Clorox Bleach to induce coma. After duct-taping her lifeless, half-human body to a dolly, she was carted off to a waiting vehicle disguised as a plumber’s van.
The interior of the seatless van is covered in newspaper clippings, hair and finished crossword puzzles. There is a doctor present. When they finally arrive at the compound under cover of nightfall, there are men waiting outside dressed in potato sacks, and Nixon masks (not affiliated with our Bob “the bitch”). The men dropped their flaming torches to once again restrain Katie who is projectile vomiting from the Clorox-come-down. A quick needle to her neck does the trick.
Oddly, the compound has no visible front door, but the group vanishes into the fog. The only lights coming from structure are from tiny, frosted windows in the cellar. The only sound is muffled Xenu-jibberish.
Katie wakes. Slurring her speech, she asks the lone guard for water -she gets a boot to the face. Darkness.
The duration of her stay at bootcamp consists of electrical shock therapy, water torture, strobe lights and hourly quizzes about all 26 stars and 76 planets of the Galactic Confederacy -except Teegeeact, or as we know it, Earth. No need to learn about the planet they are leaving soon.

36 hours and no food or sleep later, she has passed Zenu bootcamp. As Katie is carted back out of the compound, still slightly zombified, she passes a room where she sees her beloved daughter Suri with 2 men in black lab coats. They make eye contact, but Katie is too weak to speak and closes her tear-filled eyes. Suri is silent and remains expressionless.
Suri watches Katie being loaded into the plumber’s van through a window. She turns to the men and asks, “Targentram vernagjgas erresx sinlotandrerv?” The men nod yes to the question and secure the wig back onto Suri’s head, covering the screws. Suri half-smiles.

For more Tom/Katie/Suri Scientology bullshit - Click Here

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Darby Gunpowder:
Which is worse, being a Nazi or a Scientologist? Being Tom Cruise -it was a trick question. The opening day for Cruise’s Hitler assassination movie, Valkyrie, has been delayed for the third time. We’re not sure if Cruise plays the assassin, or if he play’s Hitler, but we’d like to think he plays Hitler, because although the attempted assassination goes awry, he still blows his brains out at the end of the day. That scene alone would surpass any Jessica Alba nude scene….ok, that’s not remotely true.

more at twiigs.com…

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Darby Gunpowder:
I love California. Local “medical” marijuana dispensaries are selling a new strain of weed called, Tom Cruise Purple. The bottle features a devilish photo of Tom Tom cackling like a rabid hyena -no joke. Of course the retards running the show at the Scientology Center are not pleased. The cavalry has been brought in, but my money is on the potheads -they have more power than 1,000 Zenus.
This chick smoked some of the Tom Cruise Purple and went on a Blumpkin rampage -true story

YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS CHICK IN ACTION -IT”S INSANE!!! CLICK HERE
(imagine the possibilities of future of interactive internet porn when you go to this site)

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