Derober

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John:
At the very top of the list would be going to an LA convenience store with a gansta roll of hundred dollar bills. Who does that, honestly? Why not just strap a bunch of raw meet to your ankles and go fishing for sharks? If you’re a robber I’d start casing the West Hollywood 7-Eleven ASAP and you’re gonna’ start seeing some results.

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Darby Gunpowder:
R-tard, Sharon Stone, successfully inserted her old-balls foot in her mouth when commenting on the tragic China earthquake that killed thousands of people (both Chinese and Tibetan). Stone had the audacity to blame “bad karma” on one of the worst natural disasters in history,

“I’m not happy about the way the Chinese are treating the Tibetans because I don’t think anyone should be unkind to anyone else,” Stone said Thursday during a Cannes Film Festival red-carpet interview with Hong Kong’s Cable Entertainment News. “And then this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and then I thought, is that karma? When you’re not nice that the bad things happen to you?”

Dear Sharon,
Your name sucks. Everyone always refers to you as Sharon Stone -both first and last name, but when you remove Stone, the name Sharon is devastating to my ear drums. The earthquake killed over 10,000 people and left more than 5 million Chinese citizens homeless. Karma, huh. I’m sure all those people deserved to suffer. I’m sure after that comment your own Karma will probably not reign down fiery hell on you. Dumb.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
While doing an interview with Larry King last Friday, Larry asked Kim Kardashian what her thoughts were on doing a Playboy shoot. Kim’s response, in a word, “inspirational.” The best part about it was she actually kept a straight face while on camera and in front of her whole family. She went on to call her sex tape ‘innocent’, and to point out that her ass is ’small.’ Meanwhile, I went on to call clown shoes ’sophisticated’ and to point out that this post was the greatest thing since Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa.

Oh, and my STD…’liberating.’

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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
So here’s Lindsay Lohan in the new issue of Paper Magazine. And I think I get it. Lindsay Lohan is going for the classy white trash look, which by the way I didn’t know was possible till now. But look at it on the bright side, at least she doesn’t have kids.

No follow-up to that statement.

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com
Photo courtesy of thesuperficial.com

Dee:
Paris Hilton took her new Bo out for dinner and a movie, and even introduced new boy-toy Alex Vaggo to the parents before crashing at a hotel. Amazing Paris, you managed to find a complete carbon copy of yourself in male form. Bravo.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Oh look at Vag Vaggo, he’s so adorable. Do all Swedish cavemen come with chiseled jaws. Or is that come seperate?

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